My Canoe Has A Hole In It

Cincinnati saw the lowest recorded temperature of -25°F in 1977. I was nine at the time and was ecstatic at the amount of snow, canceled school days, and the witness of redneck antics like driving an Impala across the frozen Ohio River to Kentucky. That summer, fishing on the banks, I wondered what it would be like to see the Kentucky I had been staring at for all these years. If Terry's brothers could do it in a car then I could accomplish the same in a canoe. I was enchanted at how rugged and thick the mountains seemed. A train would split the silence every now and then giving a burst of life to an otherwise unforgiving landscape. I had to go. I boarded a canoe and began my journey unbeknownst to family and friends.

In the middle of the river I came to believe that I had made a huge mistake. The river was much wider than I had imagined. From my perspective where I fished in looked like it would take perhaps as long as eating a Sno Kone. I was wrong. I shared the channel with barges and debris I hadn't counted on. To say I was in a shitpanic would be an understatement. I could feel the deep beneath me and the current pulled at my paddle bringing to mind horror stories of beckoning dead. Having an over active imagination does not help in a time of crisis. Paddling became a chore as my limbs went numb. I attempted to stay on course but the river carried me a ways down stream. This was my first lesson of powerlessness. I wouldn't recommend to anyone under twenty attempting this let alone ten.

I reached the banks of Kentucky and strangely enough it looked the same as Ohio. I found several creeks to venture up and there were otter slides, deer, kingfishers, catfish, carp and all the sounds and smells I had grown to know in my own backyard. Somehow I thought this would be like the Hobbit's adventure outside the Shire. It was beautiful, but not as romantic as I had hoped. It would be a few years from then when I would find my true love in the swamps of Bodcau. I found my way back to where I could sit across the river from where I fished. I would have said my little town looked like a Norman Rockwell painting if I knew who he was at the time. I do remember feeling that I wanted to be back home knowing I was safe. I missed my family. I could see some of my friends riding bikes on Front Street but they couldn't hear me as I yelled and waived. I wanted some kind of recognition that I had accomplished this feat of bravery but I knew the majority would not believe me and if they did they would consider it stupidity. Staring across at the day's activities the river looked quite different now because I knew what to expect. Reluctantly I pushed off the Kentucky banks and paddled for all I was worth. Since I'm writing this at the age of forty it's safe to say I made it.

Internally I have crossed many rivers. I have battled conflicting currents, debris of doubt, and oncoming ships of sabotage. During meditation at a Buddhist Sangha, the reader read a portion from Thich Naht Hahn's writings that stated, with regards to religious pursuits, that "the canoe is not the Shore." Never had such a statement arrested me. Regardless of whether I was in that car crossing the river of winter or in a canoe fighting the waters of summer, we were all headed towards the same destination. Is it possible to find that same acceptance in my brother's Islamic pursuit, or in my sister's Mormon quest? Can I encourage and applaud the Hindu that looks at me with a suspicious eye as I stand three feet higher than everyone else in the temple? As I watched the Greek and Armenian Orthodox fist fight within the Church over bragging rites I had to wonder why? Aren't they in the same canoe headed for the same Shore? I have always pursued religious paths because I saw a distant land that might hold the answer. Romanticizing a practice or belief I would become disenchanted after crossing their mountain of acceptance or navigating their bayous of belief only to find more questions than answers. Could the answer be within the quest and not the destination?

The bearded wonders of The Eastern Orthodox Church taught me that salvation is a birthing process, not a defined singular moment. They also believe that salvation began when Mary said yes, not when a person reads the Sinner's Prayer. Chewing on this for a few years I would say I agree. I don't believe a faith will ever intoxicate me or enchant me as The Way did. But, cultural differences and unyielding requirements forced me to leave the smells and bells. My venture through Protestantism found me in several fox holes firing shots at those I was told were the enemy. I really had no knowledge of which I was shooting at, all I knew was that they were different and that fear justified our character assassinations of them. I had no 'All's Quiet on the Western Front' revelation but I did sense a lot of hype to reassure each other of things we were all uncertain of. Sort of like watching brothers and sisters trying to cope without a father. Buddhism was an extremely refreshing rest area where I was welcomed and tolerated. The encouragement from them to remain a better version of my previous faith or to seek further was not for enlightenment purposes but because I was a guest, not family. Those who have gone deep within this practice know that of which I speak. Hindus taught me that what I seek is the guiding Source within us all. After all these experiences I still find myself on a distant shore wishing I were home knowing that I am safe.

Will I ever be anything but a bastard without a homeland? How many more canoes will I try? I believe I have found an unlikely vessel to reach the shore within the Catholic Church. This Easter I will be brought into full communion with the very place I was taught was the Synagogue of Satan led by the anti-Christ. Catholics are relieved that President Elect Obama has been awarded the title of the anti-Christ so they get a break for at least four years. Still the echoes of a friend's humorous jab left me wondering. Will I again become disenchanted along the way?

At our first meeting Fr. Larry assured me that God would provide answers but that they may not be the ones I'm prepared to except. Once I made the decision to convert he assured me that this was just the first step on my journey. I walked away thinking I came so far to rest only to be told that the journey has just begun. I trust him and that is a big issue with me. When speaking with him I feel like I'm in a Verizon commercial. He would answer a theological question of mine and millions behind would give him a thumbs up saying, "You're good!" How can you argue with such an in depth history? Even if you disagree with some of their questionable practices and minute dogma, the underlining fact that the Church gave us scripture, scripture didn't give us the Church is irrefutable.

Are not the same human issues prevalent wherever two or more are gathered? I have been surprised that this Catholic canoe seems to have more than enough room for my baggage. I have discovered an acceptance among priests that really reflects the teachings of Christ. This has pleasantly surprised me. The parishioners are another matter entirely as I have noticed that many walk the aisle to receive then leave not knowing why they do so in the first place.

This time I think I will 'take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth' as an old man in Memphis suggested. I have my side of the street to keep clean. I wish I could reassure myself but I know the reality of crossing yet another river and it isn't an attractive option. Must be the mountain in me that keeps me wondering what the promise of distant lands will bring. "The way that you wonder is the way that you choose. The day that you tarry is the day that you lose. Sunshine, rain or thunder, a man will always wonder where the fair wind blows." Here's hoping.

Mega Mystery

This is a follow up to the blog where I bravely resisted the Super Mega-Church's Marketing Ploy to ensnare me with Kumbaya Coffee. I've always had an inquiring mind and enjoy reading what influences and molds people's visions. For example we know the influence Nietzsche had on Hitler and how Gandhi's non-violent demonstrations influenced Martin Luther King, Jr. Polar opposites to be sure, but each were influenced immensely by what fueled their vision and the same can be seen in the religious community. A Cincinnati Bible College student will have a vastly different perspective from a Church of England seminary graduate. So it's fair to assume that what you know decides how you grow. So, I pulled up Crossroads.net and to my surprise there wasn't one sentence about the leadership, who they are, or their qualifications. I saw a lot of hip feel good rhetoric, but I know from experience that corporations (and churches are incorporated) must disclose to the general public key officials, or fall guys, when the inevitable law suit occurs. The only exceptions to this are government contracted bids. Surely a "spiritual" institution is different than Halliburton even though they may employee the same amount of people?

Below are my investigative journalistic skills at work to uncover the plot by "The Man" to turn us into coffee drinking, musically gyrating "sheeple" that never question authority.

-----Original Message-----
From: Crossroads [mailto:postmaster@crossroads.net]
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2008 12:52 PM
To: generalmailbox
Subject: Message from Crossroads.net


Message regarding: General Questions

Message sent from: Don Franklin
Email Address: *&%$@yahoo.com
Message:
We visited for the first time this past Sunday and we liked what we saw. I find it odd that I can't find anything anywhere on the web page about the leadership. Am I missing something? It would be nice to know whom I'm entrusting my family's spiritual development to. Don


----- Original Message ----
From: "Russell, David"
To: *&%$@yahoo.com
Sent: Monday, March 3, 2008 2:34:00 PM
Subject: Response to a recent question you submitted to Crossroads

Hello Don,

We're glad that you and your family enjoy your experience at Crossroads.

In order to best answer your question, I'd love to know more about how you are defining leadership. Are you seeking to understand more about our Senior Pastor or something other than this? A huge foundational piece of Crossroads ties to the number of volunteers we have serving make everything happen here. In our Kids-- Club area, for example, the vast majority of folks we have teaching, engaging and caring for the kids are volunteers. I'd love to help you and ensure your questions are answered.

I'll also point you to the What We Believe piece we have at our Information Center and on the web. This can help provide some clarity about who we are and what we believe.

Excited to help. Have a great week.

David

David Russell
Director of First Impressions

-----Original Message-----
From: Don & Rosie Franklin [mailto:*&%$@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 12:22 AM
To: Russell, David
Subject: Re: Response to a recent question you submitted to Crossroads

Well, thanks. My question is still unanswered. Typically when you visit a church there are a number of ways to find out who's who. The web being an informative way to convey this, many churches use this catalyst as an opportunity to tell about their senior pastor, associate pastors and so on. Some sites even list the elders. This terminology may be too traditional for such a hip place but I found it odd that nothing is mentioned about anyone. That sends up a red flag to me. Why hide the major players? Perhaps I'm missing the innovative think tank Zen of "It's about the people, not us" type of contemporary enlightenment.

You may have an enormous amount of volunteers, as you mentioned, but every incorporated body has a single source of responsibility. As Reagan said, "Trust, but verify."

Thanks for the reply, I guess.

----- Original Message ----
From: "Russell, David"
To: Don & Rosie Franklin <*&%$@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tuesday, March 4, 2008 4:16:44 PM
Subject: RE: Response to a recent question you submitted to Crossroads


Don,

Thank you for your response.

I'm sure you've discovered that we do very few things like a traditional church. This is intentional.

We've made intentional decisions to not promote individuals. As Brian said this weekend, we're all normal people who feel called to what God is going in our community.

We do have a Spiritual Board of Directors who has responsibility and ultimate authority over the strategic vision of Crossroads (akin to 'Elders').

Our Senior Pastor is in submission to this Board of Directors, as well.

There's nothing hidden here, if we highlighted all the major players at Crossroads, the content stream would be vast and varied and would probably include more volunteers than staff. That's just who we are and how we have moved over the past twelve years.

Thanks again for checking us out.


Blessings,

David
David Russell

Director of First Impressions
Phone: (513) 731-7400 x576

David was very kind in his responses, but suspiciously still vague. I still don't know shit from shinola about the leadership. The last time my questions were thwarted concerning a spiritual leader was when I was accosted by followers of this guy



Who knew when you questioned whether aliens in a volcano are really responsible for all bad things that you would be ostracized? Ah, Ron, but what might have been? Back to the issue at hand, thank goodness for the power of Google. I was able to secure a photo of the culprits responsible for the enjoyment of over 2,000 members during four services every Sunday.



Brian Tome Sr. (left), pastor of Community Crossroads Church, church ministry development director Cyndi King (center), and associate pastor Brian Wells. Not exactly the Axis of Evil, but rumor has it that Brian was a used car salesman from Cleveland. Can anything good come from Cleveland?


I decided to dig deeper and interview a former member with direct ties to the leadership in question. The individual shall remain anonymous, but Marty said it's the best Christian nightclub experience he's ever been a part of. He also said that you can take part in exotic mission trips to places like India where you can see poor starving people in their nature habitat and build hospitals that are shut down after the American volunteers leave for lack of funding.


This rained on my parade a little, but I won't be deterred from seeking spiritual development while enjoying premium free trade coffee and watching relevant movie clips like Jerry Maguire mixed with scripture. I never imagined a connection could be made from a minor prophet of Israel such as Malachi and a money hungry agent like Maguire, but apparently the message is the same, "Show Me the Money!"